By Lisa S. Tarno

I think I have a new revelation on managing expectations in life better so as to also manage disappointments in kind. Expectations or anticipations set us up for something hopeful and good, but when they are not met as we perceive them in our mind’s eye, disappointment invariably occurs. 

Instead I offer a life outlook of GRATEFULNESS! Gratitude begets JOY in life. A grateful heart is one that is centered in the NOW of life and is mindful of what is happening in real time. I think it’s the antidote to a life of unmet expectations and perpetual disappointment with people, experiences and things. 

It’s a subtle shift of not dashing all hopes but instead being present…in the present and being observant of any goodness, beauty, kindness or convenience maybe once overlooked. We can still hope for a wonderful vacation that we’ve been planning and dreaming about. That’s anticipation. Yet, the weather is beyond our control. Other people we interact with are beyond our control.  We can hope for good relationships with the people in our lives, but some are tricky and that’s disappointing. We can plan and calculate things out but life happens and said plans come crashing down. We can hope for the best and plan for the worst but maybe there’s even a better way. 

Yet to guard one’s heart from things that may or may not happen, I offer a mindset of choosing to live with gratefulness. Sometimes things don’t go as planned or dreamed…what then? The weather is beyond our control, health and wellness ultimately is beyond our control, life and death are beyond our control, accidents and injury are sometimes beyond our control, people’s moods and levels kindness or rudeness are beyond our control and so forth.

So much of life is really beyond our control but what we can control is our mindset in how we will respond to the uncertainties presented. We may have all the best laid plans, but then stuff happens. How do we adjust our thinking? If we commit to having an outlook of gratefulness above all, then our redirect comes a lot easier than if we don’t. It’s the art of the redirect with the intention set forth to look for things to be grateful about. 

My prayer as of late has been, “Lord, fill me full of YOUR grace to accept what is and fill me full of YOUR wisdom to choose what’s better.” I am striving to live more of a grace filled life in all aspects. Wisdom to choose what’s better by redirecting my thoughts and focus on the present things to be grateful for and how I will arrange my life or day to be in that frame of mind and being.