By Lisa S. Tarno

I often retreat into silence when I don’t know how to respond. I figure it’s better to error on that side than saying something I might later regret. I’ve learned to take time to sort things and settle myself rather than give an abrupt answer. My silence is not acceptance of whatever provoked it rather it is knowing myself enough to give pause. 

In my silence, I often am seeking God and His wisdom to help me navigate the things that come up in life. 

When I am hurt….I become silent when others thrash around and hurt others back.

When I am shocked….I become silent when others may up the level of shocking in retaliation.

When I am offended…I am silent when others may spew barbs to inflict more pain.

When I am confused… I choose silence when others speculate and draw their wrong conclusions.

Silence in the past was the mortar for the walls I could expertly build. I’ve learned to forgive and heal. Though I have retired from the wall construction profession, I instead build fences that are healthy boundaries for my life. There is always opportunity for a new and improved relationship if both sides are healthy enough to do the work. In the meantime, silence is only a tool to recalibrate and not a weapon that I choose for spite.