By Lisa S. Tarno

I have prayed for some time now that God would fill me full of His grace and enable me to accept what is. It’s part of my prayer strategy to encase myself in a Galinda (from Wicked) like bubble of grace with all my interactions with people to just bounce off of negativity and not let anything permeate my bubble of peace. My prayer is specifically for grace, wisdom and mercy each day so that I can successfully live not offended. 

I liken the grace to the “oil of grace” and ask that Jesus would slather it on me like a good shepherd would his sheep to protect them from bugs getting in their ears and tormenting them.  I don’t want the potential offenses of others to stick to me or to get inside me to fester and cause havoc within me. More grace please!  I ask for God to fill me full of His mercy to be able to overlook things that could offend if I let them. Additionally, I ask that He would help me to not take things personally and be able to navigate from a higher perspective. This is where I need His wisdom to guide me to know what to say or what not to say in response to different situations. 

Over 25 years ago, God impressed on me a simple phrase as I was sitting in women’s Bible study. He said directly to my heart, “Be more than a conqueror; Proceed with grace.” I have been unpacking that ever since. Shortly after the message was on my heart, I was enveloped in the most intense spiritual battle that lasted years. I had learned what it meant to live as more than a conqueror…that is, I had learned how to effectively do battle. I thought the “Proceed with grace” part was living in forgiveness with villains in my story. It did in part.

Fast forward to today, I am living in a whole new chapter that requires shoes of peace and graceful living. Maybe the phrase was the cheat sheet for how to live the rest of my life….”Remember who you are (more than a conqueror) and how to do it….AND now until your last breath proceed  with grace in your life with all your relationships? Because truth be told, accepting what IS….accepting what’s hard to accept….it takes a LOT of GRACE!

Here are the definitions of ACCEPT:

To receive  willingly

To be able or designed to take or hold (something applied added)

To give admittance or approval to

To endure without protest or reaction

To regard as proper, normal, or inevitable

To recognize as true: Believe

To agree to undertake

Here are the definitions of GRACE:

Elegance or beauty of form, manner, motion or action

A pleasing or attractive quality or endowment

Favor or goodwill

Mercy, clemency or pardon

The accepting that needs to be done at this chapter of my life is a pivot of sorts. Even though I am not in agreement, I choose to live my life with joy and peace. Joy and peace have become the pillars of what I strive for these days and I find myself fiercely protecting them in my life choices, energy and relationships. Joy and peaceful living enables me to live with an attractive quality. It allows me to proceed in grace and to give grace.

For example, I just answered a friend’s inquiry about the quandary of how to spend the holidays now with adult kids and their families. I said that I was coming to realize that that I prefer joy and peace over forced “togetherness” that yields any sort of drama. My life now is more about creating a peaceful home and life and I am finding that I want to guard that peace whatever it takes. So therein lies acceptance. I don’t necessarily agree with how things have evolved, but I yield to the greater good and to how God leads me: PEACE! Peace in the holidays. Peace in the relationships. Peace. 

My acceptance is a conceding to read the room…assess and readjust as needed. Acceptance for me is the art of being flexible as well as discerning. I choose not to be rigid and miserable. For example, to answer my friend’s dilemma, if the underlying desire of say, the holiday time with family, is togetherness, yet when I am rigid about dates and times and have expectations, it causes unnecessary tension. We’d have togetherness but at what cost? Is it really worth it? Does it enhance or strain relationships? Discernment!  

I am choosing to bend and be guided by the Holy Spirit. I wouldn’t say that it’s easy to do…for it has taken a lot of tears, walks outside, prayers and talks with myself. But I, too, had to identify what was at the core of what I thought I needed. I thought it was togetherness, but I find I value joy and peace MORE! Therefore, I am choosing…I am not being told what to do….I am choosing what’s best for us. I am choosing to believe that God will meet all our needs best and give us the ability to pivot and create new memories and be a part of what He wants us to be a part of. I am open to new ideas and ways of doing things. 

Applying the grace bubble of “Wicked’s” Galinda’s mode of transportation is a great visual of how to live everyday life as well as the special occasions. I imagine myself so filled up with the love of God and getting my needs met by Him first and foremost that all else is just a bonus in my life. As I do life with others, I find it most successful if I 1. Set my mind to NOT be easily offended 2. Ask God to fill me full of His grace and mercy and wisdom as I interact with others 3. Be discerning and alter my course when needed 4. Be able to read the room and become masterful at diffusing and redirecting. I am actively living out what was spoken to my heart over 25 years ago: Proceed with GRACE!

I still am in process of learning the art of acceptance for things that are against my grain. There will be things that rub me the wrong way or have the potential to hurt me. My best defense and strategy is my complete dependence on God as I go to him and cast all my cares (1 Peter 5:7) and trust that He will meet all my needs (Phil 4:19). It’s a daily prayer of mine to ACCEPT what IS. Hopefully I will master this and be filled with His joy and peace.