By Lisa S. Tarno

In my faith we are metaphorically encouraged to find refuge under God’s wings. (Psalm 36:7) What this looks like actually is a hush over my whirling mind and thoughts that are counter productive and a settling of my spirit to really take it in that…in this frenzied, scary moment…God is control. I know how to do this and for the most part live my life this way but there have been times when I don’t and it looks more like escape than finding refuge.

There was a time in my writing aspirations that I was coming upon the completion of a project, i.e. attempting to write a book, that strategic attempts to unsettle me happened. In our faith believing world we call it spiritual warfare. What that is is we believe there is a) a spiritual world that we do not see and b) this spiritual world is really what is at work for the benefit or detriment to all humanity. Yes, there is trouble that everyone goes through in life but when it gets indescribably pin pointed and direct aim at our vulnerabilities and beyond belief, that is spiritual warfare. That is my spiritual warfare 101 class, but it is what happened. In that time I did not seek refuge…I escaped by self soothing with Netflix bingeing.

It’s been a good four years of self soothing and walking a thin line of obedience to what God was calling me to do. To call a spade a spade…I was rebelling….I was in disobedience. I felt God impressed upon my heart to write a certain book. I committed six months to write and had a pretty good outline and several chapters written and then the train came off the tracks. My attack against me was so profoundly strategic, I stared in amazement at its precision. Wow! I actually applauded the enemy for the hit being well played. Then I questioned if I heard right from God at all.

I still question if I heard right from God but have moved forward with the metaphor of  “How do you eat an elephant?” The answer is, one bite at a time. (I’m not into eating elephants just borrowing the metaphor) As I let the material marinate in my closet, I began this blog. It is little bite size steps of obedience to write as God directs my heart. 

Psalm 36:7  says, “How precious is your unfailing love, O God! All humanity finds shelter in the shadow of your wings.” This protection is offered to all of us! I know this, yet I still foolishly chose the opposite. I say this to say, I still struggle with doing what I know to do and what will ultimately benefit me to try to do what I think will be better…but it always proves not to be. So then, philosophically, why do I choose the latter? That’s a question for a therapist perhaps. 

Psalm 61:4 says, “Let me live forever in your sanctuary, safe beneath the shelter of your wings!” God’s offer of safety and stability is always a much better deal than the no deal box we can choose on our own. It’s the difference of having inner calm versus having to take medication to sleep. It’s having indescribable peace versus chronically worrying. If one knows how to worry, one therefore knows how to meditate…it’s just flipping the script. We are encourage to meditate on what His Word says because it is life for us. Isaiah 26:3 says, “You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!” Therein lies the secret to refuge and peace.

What is it for you? Do you seek refuge or escape?