By Lisa S. Tarno

I have purposefully stepped back from the holiday fanfare due to my present circumstances of losing a parent prior to this season, but also as a reset for my way of thinking. After experiencing such a profound loss, one is indelibly changed. Some things come into clearer focus and all the fringe in life is noted for what it is…superfluous!

I am scaling back a lot of how I used to view the holiday time. It is so over hyped in music, movies, advertisements for shopping, and expectations. I feel like I am sitting on the sidelines and watching the world in its frenzy as mine is slowed down and reflective. This morning as I was praying, this phrase from a worship song rekindled in my mind, “I seek the Giver not the gift, my one desire is to lift Your name high above all earthly kings and bring you honor Lord.” It has resonated with me all throughout the day and into the evening as I write this.

I have purposefully quieted my world by hiding social media until after the new year and limiting my news and television viewing so that I can better listen to what God wants to say to my heart. In one way I am guarding my heart from being overly aware of what everyone else is doing and thwarting the temptation to compare which can lead to discontentment. This is a practical application of Proverbs 4:23, “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” In another way, I am being more observant by standing in the wings of life’s stage to assess what is needed and what is unnecessary. 

My assessment is that from Thanksgiving to Christmas it has become more intensely exaggerated and overly hyped to create this euphoric experience with images of family and friends that is often not what is advertised. Many feel let down or depressed that their experiences don’t match what is being shown on tv or the movies and in songs. It’s almost a deceptive stimulant over promising happiness. Instead the truth is people are stressed to accomplish their Christmas-To-Do-List items; participate in exhaustive travel that gets interrupted by numerous variables; deal with contentious relatives or situations that erupt from excessive drinking; overspend money they don’t have to meet an expectation, and over commit to holiday functions and feel frazzled as a result. 

I’ve previously participated in all of this aside from excessive drinking over the years and now have hit the PAUSE button. I am asking God to help me reset the holiday times. What does He want me to do? Where do I spend the energy more productively and with purpose? How will He meet my needs at this time and how do I then meet others’ needs? Who do I need to remember? Who needs my charity? Who needs my friendship? What needs to change? As I have asked all this I felt directed to the phrase, “I seek the Giver not the gift…” It’s the essence of Matthew 6:33, “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well.” 

The real reason for Christmas is Jesus’ birth and the wonderful gift that God gave us. I love an obscure Christmas song called How Many Kings and the chorus that says, “..How many kings stepped down from their thrones? How many lords have abandoned their homes? How many greats have become the least for me? And how many gods have poured out their hearts to romance a world that is torn all apart? How many fathers gave up their sons for me? …Only one did that for me!” It is the beautiful reminder of what God sacrificed for all of us by giving us Jesus that glorious day!  Seek the Giver not the gift! It imprints on my heart and mind this year!